Chỉ Bàn Lộn 2: A Lexicon of Queer and Sexuality in Vietnam

Translator’s Note 

It is an impossible task trying to translate a dictionary of Vietnamese slangs and idioms around gender and sexuality, whose melodic playfulness and visceral imageries operate on a vastly different plane compared to English. Translation is always already an impossibility, having to contend with what is lost in the passage of movement not only between languages, but also into language to begin with. As I spend hours and hours perfecting the translation with Nhung Dinh, there were no ways for me to adequately communicate the laugh-out-loud humor and subtle vulgarity of these 51 Vietnamese phrases. If only I could animate how these slangs dance with the Vietnamese monosyllabic and tonal linguistic structure without simply explaining them away and arresting their dynamic liveness onto the page. I try to tell myself that in the inevitable loss, translation also opens up other meaning-making possibilities. Though frankly, it is difficult to put trust in the analytical sterility of English to further enliven the playfulness of these sex idioms.

This version of “Vagina Talks” feels quite incomplete as it is onyl a tiny sliver excerpted from the 527-page volume of Chỉ Bàn Lộn 2: a lexicon of queer and sexuality in Vietnam. Nevertheless, Chỉ Bàn Lộn 2 never labors towards being complete. It feels less comprehensive than it is excessive. There is an unruly additive logic to the project, with Nhung Dinh wanting to collect as many phrases and include as many contributors as possible — whatever fits can go inside. To me, Chỉ Bàn Lộn 2 is not a dictionary of definitions to be understood, but a compilation of choreographic scores indexing the myriad possibilities of how language and gender can do each other. The invitation, then, is to do more with the scores, to listen to the improvisational linguistic impulses that might not be immediately available in English, to move with this translational impossibility, and to have fun while we are at it.

– Anh Vo

A

Anhsomeko: Playing with the slippage of translation between English and Vietnamese to ambivalently ask, “Are you afraid of your mother?” or “Are you into som (i.e., group sex)?” The speaker can safely gauge whether or not the other person is into group sex depending on how they interpret this question.

Ă

Ăn thịt đồng loại: To cannibalize. Connoting overtly queer people having sex with one another. Example: The first rule is no cannibalism. Two sisters eating each other will burn the house down!

Ăn kem trước cổng: To have premarital sex. Literally, to eat ice cream in front of a gate. A spoonerism of “ăn cơm trước kẻng” (to eat a meal before the bell is rung).

B

Bắt sóc bỏ lọ: Catching a squirrel to put in a bottle. A playful way to say handjob, deriving from the phrase “xóc lọ” (i.e., shaking a bottle or shaking a cock). “Sóc” (squirrel) and “xóc” (shake) are homophones; thus “bắt sóc bỏ lọ” becomes a more euphemistic phrase for handjob.  

Bê Đê Sợ Mứt: Playing with the initials of BDSM, the phrase refers to the anxiety of shit leaking out while having anal sex. “Bê đê” means gay; “sợ mứt” sounds similar to “sợ cứt,” which means scared of shit. E.g.: I am a “bê đê sợ mứt,” not that kind of BDSM.  

Bóng cầm chuông: Literally means queers holding bells. A spoonerism of “bóng cuồng Trump” (i.e., Trump fanatic queers). Referring to queers who believe in conspiracy theories, fake news, and authoritarianism, who are Sinophobic and racist, fetishizing white people while discriminating against black people.

C

CIA: (1) Cum in alone, or climax by oneself. (2) Cum in alo, or cum in someone’s mouth. Vietnamese people answer the phone with ‘A lô;’ thus ‘alo’ refers to mouth. Massage and sex services often emphasize they accept CIA. People on dating apps can also ask one another if they like CIA or not.  

Chơi Cao Đài: Refers to a visibly gay person dating a closeted person, which, similar to the religion Cao Dai, makes no sense. To outsiders, Caodaiism is very queer because of its hodge-podge-like quality.

D

Dái trong: Literally, inner balls. (1) effeminate, not manly. A derogatory term for intersex people, trans people, or cismen who are overly feminine and indecisive. Example: Men who complain a lot have their balls grown outside in. (2) refers to manly women, girls, or tomboys.  

Duyên âm: “Duyên” can refer to fate, or unpaid debt/unresolved connections from previous lives. “Âm” means yin, or negative energy, referring to the dead. “Duyên âm” describes being pursued romantically, sexually, and often unwantedly by spirits. The spirits can be tethered from previous lives or from current life (e.g., an ex-lover who dies young). One can also by chance attract wandering spirits, who die single and have the desire to marry. Many people, especially queer folks, who are single for a long time, often get told by families and friends to go and get their “duyên âm” cut by shamans so that they can move on with their current lives.  

Đ 

Đóng mạng nhện: Have not had sex for a long time, or ever. Literally means fossilized spiderweb.  

Ê 

Ếch ôm măng: A frog hugging a bamboo shoot. Referring to a relationship or a sexual act (particularly doggy style) between a top who is much smaller than a bottom.

F 

Fen with phịch:  Vietnamization of “friends with benefits,” which sounds more like “fend with fit.” The simplification and mispronunciation of words generate a more melodic quality to the phrase. “Phịch” also sounds similar to “phang” (i.e., fuck), which makes the phrase much more direct than friends with benefits.  

G 

Gạo nếp: Sticky rice. It refers to a penis that does not get much bigger when erected. Similar to sticky rice, which does not expand a lot when cooked.  

Gạo tẻ: Regular jasmine rice. It refers to a penis that gets unmistakably bigger when erected. Similar to jasmine rice, which expands when cooked.  

Gu mặn: Savory or carnivorous taste. (1) Refers to someone with atypical sexual preferences, which can be considered disgusting. Example: Running red lights (i.e., having period sex) is too savory for me. I like eating pussy, sucking balls, but I can’t do it on red days. Too horrifying. Too savory. (2) Refers to someone who likes significantly older people. Example: “They are too young to be dating this woman who is 20 years older.” - “Damn, such a savory taste!”  

H 

Hố đen vũ trụ: Black hole, capable of sucking in anything big or small. Slang for vagina or anus. Example: 6-inch is too damn small. Mine is like a black hole, so what can 6-inch do! 

Hoa cúc: Chrysanthemum flower, slang for anus. Gerbera daisy flower or sunflower can be substituted to refer to larger holes.

I 

In Tư: Information. Literally in four (in = in, tư = four). Can be abbreviated further to “in4.” Example: No baby. I can only give you my In Four if you take Prep.   

K 

Khoảng trống trong LÒNg em: The void in my cunt, which refers to the extra space in the vagina or the anus that cannot be filled by too small and short of a penis. Playing with how “lồn” (cunt) sounds similar to “lòng” (gut or heart), the phrase memes on the cheesy saying, “the void in my heart,” often uttered by female characters in Vietnamese soap operas. 

L 

Lồn quốc dân: The people’s pussy. (1) A communal pussy for everyone’s use. (2) A pretty pussy, a sweet pussy, a model pussy. 

Lộn cái bàn: Friends my ass! Literally means flip the table, which is a spoonerism for “friends my cunt.” Can be used to express frustration at being friendzoned, or to direct anger at an ex who wants to remain friends. 

M 

Mạ vàng thanh kiếm: Gold-gilded sword. Denoting a penis covered in shit when having anal sex.  

Mlem Mlem: (1) very delicious, very appetizing. An onomatopoeic imitation of licking continuously with a lot of spit. Denoting something or somebody delicious to drool over. (2) wanting to eat pussy. (3) slurping “oyster.” 

N 

Nai bò: Deer and cow. (1) A derogatory term referring to bisexual or gay men who are in relationship with women. Example: You are gay but pretend to be a straight man to fuck both deers and cows. (2) Denoting people who are naive and silly like deers and cows. Often used to describe straight women who fall in love with gay men.  

Nằm phơi nắng: Sunbathing. (1) Often used by queer women to denote having sex. Example: I just got sunbathed (i.e., I just got fucked). (2) a provocative lying down position, bottoms showing ass. 

Nulosa: Anglocization of “nứng lồn sảng” (i.e., imaginary wet pussy). Making a big deal out of nothing.  

O 

Oẳn tà là vằn: Not straight, noodling around. (1) Describing a penis that cannot get hard. (2) Referring to a thing or a situation that is futile or just not right. (3) Meandering, not focused. This phrase derives from “oẳn tà roằn,” first used in a short story by Nguyễn Công Hoan. Later on, in an episode of the TV series “Gặp nhau cuối tuần,” comedian Xuân Bắc used “oẳn tà là vằn” to describe a soft penis. Since then, the word is widely circulated in the North.  

Ô 

Ô môi: (1) Refers to masculine women. (2) Refers to women who have intimate relationships with other women. The term coud have originated from a tropical fruit in Vietnam (cassia grandis), as how you eat the fruit resembles the act of cunnilingus. It might also derive from “homosexuelle” in French. As a derogatory term, “Ô môi” is not often used by queer people for the purpose of self-identification. 

Ốc xào: Stir-fried snails. A malapropism of “ông xã” (i.e., husband). Used within a gay male couple to refer to each other.

P 

Pỏn: Porn. The word results from an unintentional mistake when typing “porn” using a Vietnamese keyboard. Compared to porn, pỏn with the tonal error sounds better and cooler, while also circumventing surveillance efforts by parents. 

Q 

Quay tay: Rotating or turning your hand. Handjob. 

Que (dt): Stick. Denoting skinny long dicks. 

Quể (dt): Queer. Similar to pỏn, quể results from an unintentional mistake when typing “queer” using a Vietnamese keyboard. Often used by young queer people to address one another. Quể also sounds similar to quê (i.e., rural, unrefined), and thus represents an attitude distinctive from the fancier and flashier queers. 

Quắn quéo: Being moved, feeling sunsick, having a crush on somebody.  

R 

Răm mận: Spoonerism of “dâm mặn,” which is a combination of being slutty/salacious and having a savory taste (see gu mặn). 

Rớt cái đờn ông ra ngoài: The manly thing falling out. (1) Jokingly describe the bulge of a drag queen or a trans woman (2) Refering to penile erection in response to seeing an attractive guy.  

S 

Sờ quýt: Vietnamization of squirt. “Sờ” evokes haptic sensation. “Quýt” is tangerine, juicy and sweet. Example:
A: We’ve talked a lot about touching asses and titties, let’s talk about “sờ quýt” today. How can we squirt?  
B: Call a spade a spade — you’re leaking water! Who cares about tangerines and oranges.  
C: Leaking is different from squirting. It means cumming. If my lover can squirt, I’ll spend all day úp mặt vào sông quê. 

T 

Thà để thanh kiếm dính máu của kẻ thù chứ không để dính phân của đồng bọn: Rather have enemy’s blood than ally’s shit on my sword. Often used by straight men to express their disdain for gay sex. They’d rather have sex with women [enemies] and be stained by period blood than  have anal sex with men [allies]. This phrase is also used by gay people to mock men who are scared of being gay for having anal sex with their girlfriends.  

Thần Lồn: Genius cunt or vagina god. (1) A very talented pussy, full of tricks, too difficult to resist. (2) An expert on vagina. (3) Represent a supernatural force that brings bad luck.  

Thông thống cho chuột cống đi vào: So wide that rats can run in and out. Denoting loose vagina or anus.  

U 

Ụ: An abbreviation of “đụ” (i.e., fuck).   

Úp mặt vào sông quê: To bury one’s face into the country river. To eat pussy or to eat ass. The phrase is widely known due to its immediate association with a very famous song by Phó Đức Phương, in which the country river signifies patriotism.  

Ư 

Ứ: (1) An onomatopoeia for having sex. Other variations include “ứ hự,” “ứ ừ,” ứ ừ ư,” each with its own emotional implication. (2) Depending on context and the speaker’s tone, it can mean no or yes in response to sexual solicitation.

V 

Vãi cả nồi: Similar to how “fucking” functions as an intensifier in English, many variants of “vãi,” such as “vãi chưởng” or “vãi đái,” can be used to enhance feelings about something. “Vãi cả nồi” is used to avoid using “vãi lồn”, which literally means you feel such strong emotions that you drop your cunt. Instead of using “cunt”, “vãi cả nồi” means you drop your pot. 

Vailon: See Vãi cả nồi. Also used as an intensifier, “Vailon” is a euphemistic anglocization of “Vãi lồn” (drop your cunt), combining the syllables while eliminating the tones.  

W 

Weitei: Anglocization of quay tay. Handjob.  

X 

Xăng pha nhớt: Gasoline mixed with oil. Denoting someone who cannot easily be identified as a man or a woman, thus causing confusion. As a discriminatory term directed mostly towards gay men, it appeared in the northern region of Vietnam during the post-Vietnam-War planned economy era (1975-1986). At the time of extreme poverty, mopeds often run on gasoline mixed with oil.  

Xì trây: Vietnamization of “straight.” “Xì” connotes deflation; “trây” suggests laziness. Together, “xì trây” sounds iffy and uncertain.   

Y 

YSL: Low performance/low libido. Wet noodle. An initialism of “Yếu Sinh Lý.”  

Z 

Zin: Intact, not yet penetrated by another. Derived from “origin,” “Zin” is a euphemism for hymen that is intact.